From shoe boxes to the legendary fridge box. Honest reviews.
I have lived in nine boxes this year. Some were brief flings. One changed me.
Here is the full table, scored out of ten, no boxes spared.
| Box | Score | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Shoe box | 6/10 | Cosy, but my tail sticks out. Embarrassing. |
| Amazon box | 9/10 | Spacious. Smells like adventure and tape. |
| Wine box | 7/10 | Good walls, smells suspicious. |
| Fridge box | 11/10 | I lived there for a week. I would go back. |
What makes a box good
A box is judged on four things, in this order:
- Fit. If I fits, I sits. Non-negotiable.
- Walls. Tall walls mean I cannot be seen while I see everything.
- Floor. Cardboard is warm. Tile is a lie.
- Location. A box in the hallway is worth three boxes in a spare room.
The fridge box, in detail
It arrived on a Tuesday. It was the size of a small country.
cd hallway
# if I fits, i sits
test -d fridge-box && enter --stay="one week"
# output: happy cat. do not disturb.
I ate there. I slept there. I judged humans from there. The only fault was that someone eventually moved it, which I have not forgiven and will not forget.
Boxes that disappointed
The pet bed I was gifted— it has a lid that opens, which is not a box, it is a betrayal.- A box with tape still on the flaps — you have not built a box, you have built a wall with ambition.
If you would like me to review your box, send it over. I charge in treats and I am not flexible on this.