Sleep is a skill. I've been training my whole life.
Step one: find the sunniest spot in the house. Step two: there is no step two.
Most humans nap badly. They nap on their phones, they nap through their alarms, they nap guiltily. I nap professionally, and I would like to lay out the framework.
The daily schedule
| Slot | Duration | Location | Quality |
|---|---|---|---|
| 06:40 | 90 min | Windowsill | Okay, cold |
| 09:15 | 120 min | Sofa arm | Excellent |
| 13:00 | 180 min | Sunbeam | World class |
| 17:30 | 60 min | Keyboard | Warm, clicky |
| 22:00 | 240 min | Foot of the bed | Undisturbed |
Rules of the craft
- Rotate every 40 minutes to follow the sun. Do not skip this.
- Ignore all humans. Purr if touched, bite if touched twice.
- A nap taken on a laptop counts double: it is warm and it is blocking work.
- Never nap where you can be reached easily. Height helps. The fridge is a good office.
The wake-up routine
stretch (front legs out, back arched, hold 4s)
shake (whole body, ears included)
eat (immediately, loudly)
walk away from everyone
That is the whole secret. Wake up, stretch, eat, repeat.
A well-napped cat does not need motivation. A well-napped cat needs a sunbeam and a closed door.
If you want to try this, start small. Two hours. Then four. Do not tell your boss it is training.